astroglide. making sex and masturbation magic

Astroglide lubricant making tight holes fuckable since 1942, when charles astro accidentally spilled cooking oil on his wifes tight and frigid asshole during sex in the kitchen.

Astroglide is the number one choice of Forever alone, olympic sport level masturbater’s, like myself. I have probably gone through a dozen bottles.

Thank you amazon for delivering it to my door so I don’t have to buy it in public (not that I give a shit. I used to love throwing a porn mag on the gas station counter in front of a little 18 year old teen girl, who is probably a virgin and would probably need sex lube to get inside her tight pussy or ass, and seeing her feel a little awkward like uhhhh “lube, porn, doritos, mountain do, lots of napkins …will that be all?”

No darling I will take your panties that smell like heaven and your virginity that smells like 10 years in jail as well asĀ  a pack of zigzags and 10 bucks regular on pump 2.

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